Mary Sue Made Easy
by Jered035446
Summary: Well here it is, the dreaded fic of all LOTR lovers. This is the fic that allow all of you hormonal twelve year olds to enjoy a good Mary Sue of your own, just insert character info and you're off! Flames welcome.


_Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings, nor do I make money off of this fic. Rightfully, I don't even own Mary Sue... she's just abused voraciously in this fic._

Mary Sue was a gorgeously buxom, blonde girl of fifteen. She had captivating blue eyes with silver flecks in them. At the age of ten, she had her nose fixed so it was a perfect little button nose instead of the great conker that she had before. She always wore the latest fashions and the coolest most expensive clothes. She had a tiny moon shaped scar on her stomach next to her navel and a tattoo of a panda bear on her lower back. Her parents hated her and she was the most unpopular girl in her school. As a result, she buried herself in books to escape from the horrible life that she led.

Mary Sue was a very unhappy girl.

Many times, after school she would hide in the woods behind her house. A few years ago, she had found a neat little cave where she now loved to retreat and paint. Mary Sue loved to paint, she also loved to sing, dance, and play her three instruments: the piano, the flute, and the guitar. She was the soloist on the choir because of her amazing singing voice and the first flute in the orchestra. She was also recognised for her amazing works of art in school. She received straight As and her teachers always complemented her on her work.

Now Mary Sue sat with her back against the wall of the cave, watching as the snow drifted down outside to coat the ground with a fine layer of white. Mary Sue loved snow; it was pure and innocent and always left the world with a clean white look.

A while later, Mary Sue decided she would paint a picture of the snow that now lied heavily on the ground. Painting was the only time Mary Sue did not feel lonely. She would tie her luscious golden hair up with a blue ribbon and pull out some of her expensive canvas that she received for Christmas, and then she would bring out her oil paints and start painting. She spent many hours painting in her little cave, sometimes she would not even go back to her house, but stay in the cave and sleep there.

While Mary Sue painted, she fingered some of the bruises that her father and mother had inflicted upon her. Yesterday, Mary Sue had come home late from school, when she had stayed there to work on one of her sculptures. By the time she got home, it was five o'clock and her father was already drunk. She had tried to get into the house without making any noise but he had found her in the kitchen when she went to get some milk.

"You're a filthy whore." He said to her, his voice slurred by the alcohol he had consumed. He struck out at her, landing a punch on her cheek and then a kick to her side. Mary Sue screamed and fell to the ground with a wheeze as his foot connected solidly with her side again. He continued punching and kicking her until he fell over from the effect of the alcohol and the application of his strength. Snivelling, Mary Sue crawled up to her room to recuperate, knowing that her mother would be home soon.

Her mother worked a dull job at an electronics manufacturing plant, where she was a billing consultant and 'lived' in a small cubicle for nine hours a day. When she came home, she was always in a very bad mood and took it out on Mary Sue by hitting her, usually with the purse she carried around with her at all times. Mary Sue knew that there was no escaping her mother's wrath, so she sat in her room waiting for the inevitable beating.

All too soon, it came, and, in a whirlwind of screeching fury, it left Mary Sue with several more bruises and an extremely sore rump. Mary Sue came back from her thoughts and focused again on her painting, noting the details of the outside world with a keen blue and silver-flecked eye. She observed the profiles of the snow covered objects, taking in the softened lines that the snow created and the contrast between the white snow and the dark woods that now looked almost black against it.

Mary Sue remained in the cave for some time, until she could no longer see the outside world through the oncoming darkness and falling snow. She knew there was no point in going back to the house now that it was dark, she would just get beat again. Therefore, with a sigh, she pulled the sleeping bag she kept in the cave out and unrolled it on the flat, smooth ground. Within minutes, she fell into a deep sleep that would change her life.

During her rest, Mary Sue had many strange dreams including horses, men, and great battles. She thrashed within her sleeping bag, screaming silently. She saw many bloody battles, until the grass was stained red with the blood and little rivers of it flowed through the fields. She didn't smell anything though, even when her dreams showed her carcasses of men bloated from the sun and the pyres of the dead, burning almost merrily in the sun. Mary Sue wanted the horrible dreams to end; she could not stand to see such horrible images anymore. She wanted to wake up but she could not. When the dreams seemed to be at their worst, and Mary Sue could not stand them anymore, they stopped.

The images of death and destruction were replaced with a beautiful woman. She had perfect features, a small nose, startling grey eyes set underneath even blond eyebrows, full lips, and a delicate chin under high cheekbones. Her hair was that of perfection, delicious golden tresses flowing down her shoulders and back in a perfect wave of shimmering gold. The woman was clad in a beautiful robe of white and a silver belt. She reached a hand out to Mary Sue who took it gratefully.

"My dear Saerindil, your dreams trouble you, do they not?" Her voice was light and airy, but held the power of wisdom in it. Mary Sue nodded meekly, afraid to say anything in the presence of this goddess. "A prophecy was written about you many years ago. It told of the coming of great evil to my lands. We were to find you, the girl who has suffered so much for so little reason. You are to help us defeat the great evil amongst us. It is your destiny. Will you accept the challenge?"

"I will do anything you want me to do, just take me away from here." Mary Sue said in her beautiful voice.

"I am happy that you have no objections. You will wake outside my lands and will be escorted to the great city of elves, Imladris. You will not remember anything about this conversation, or the life you led before you were sent to my world. It is for the better. Once you see a young hobbit named Frodo, you will remember your quest and the details of it. Do not tell these to just anybody, only Elrond and Mithrandir should know. When you wake, you will be in my world. You must remember two things. Show the first person you meet the locket that now hangs about your neck and follow him to Imladris. Once you reach there, find Lord Elrond and tell him that Galadriel sent you. Now repeat what I have said."

"I have to show the first person I meet this locket," she motioned to the intricate circular locket around her neck, "then follow him to Imladris, and tell Lord Elrond that Galadriel sent me."

"Very well, I wish you luck on your journey." The Lady faded and left Mary Sue in a deep dreamless sleep.

A leaf tickling her nose and a cold breeze across her feet woke Mary Sue. She yawned, stretched, and the proceeded to crawl gracefully out of her sleeping bag. Her golden hair was slightly mussed, but a quick finger combing sent it back into its natural wave. She brushed off her skin-tight Aeropostale jeans that were faded and ripped in 'artful' places. Then she plucked the leaves off her tight, red polo from American Eagle. Her fingers rested on the warm silver locket that rested against her tanned chest.

A small latch on the side allowed her to open the piece of jewellery, and it popped open smoothly. Inscriptions in a foreign tongue were intricately etched on the inside. They read:

Avo Acheno

Anno Lîn Lenn

Hebo Estel

Calo Anor Na Ven

"I wonder what it means?" she asked herself as she snapped the locket shut. "Now, where is this person that I should meet?" After a small spot of surveillance, she saw a person on a horse coming in her direction. Mary Sue decided to wait for him to reach her, she did not feel like walking very far right now. Maybe he would allow her to ride his horse for a while. Therefore, to amuse herself, she rolled her sleeping bag up and sat on it, waiting for the man to reach her.

It took him quite some time to reach her; he was going a leisurely pace. Mary Sue was getting quite annoyed with him and began tapping her Puma-clad foot against the ground. When he finally reached Mary Sue on his beautiful white horse, she gasped. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He was lean and muscular with a pale complexion and flowing golden hair. He had even grey eyes, a straight nose, full lips and a strong chin. Spotting her, he said a word in elvish to the horse and it stopped.

"My lady! These are dangerous times for one as fair as yourself to be wandering abroad with no escort or weapons!" he exclaimed, dismounting. "May I inquire your name and title, my lady?"

Mary Sue looked up into his gorgeous eyes and smiled sweetly. "My name is Saerindil of- of," she did not know where she came from.

"Do you not know where you hail from Lady Saerindil?" A faint smile had appeared on his lips when she told him her name. Mary Sue looked down, tears welling in her eyes.

"I can't remember. I just know that the first person I meet should see this," she said pulling the locket up to catch the sun. The elf gasped, seeing the intricate carvings on the shell of the locket. He muttered something in elvish that she did not understand and remounted his horse.

"You are the woman from the prophecy; I must take you to Imladris right now. Do you know how to ride?" Mary Sue nodded dumbly and leapt behind him. "I am Legolas of Mirkwood."

_An: This is, of course a Mary Sue parody, albeit a serious one. I figured that with all the really shoddy ones out there I should help the writer who can't seem to manage a fourth grade writing level to have their dreams of their very own Mary Sue fullfilled. (not that I'm saying my writing is any good) Just copy, paste, and insert character information. Then you'll have your very own Mary Sue. You can't post it though, because them It would be plagiarism. New chapters will be coming soon. Feel free to reveiw, give ideas, or flame. Flames will be used to make smores, hot dogs, and popcorn so keep em coming!!!! Translations for the elvish will be displayed in latter chapters (Saerindil means 'bitter lily')_


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